8.silence...

silence...................jz pray silently....











we will meet each other again in the Kingdom of God...

7.wats wat??

ermmm..i really dunno how to start.. i hardly update..n nowadays nth excites me at all this whole week...cept when im in collage and at home wif dad n mum[im not mama's girl=.=]

i realize i kinda abit change towards certain ppl.. which is my friends.. ermm.. i dunno wats going on..but i think is me lah.. mayb i dun really social alot dats y ppl dun take me seriously or tok to me or like having a girly tok.. well.i use to have..but i JZ DUNNO..

im now more closer to my collage friends..N i really realize sumthing.. when we go to sum where else n meet to new frenz.. like me when im in high skwel..im really close to my high skwel frenz..n now i hardly keep in contact.. maybe is jz me making no effort kuah..or i cant think of conversation..or we dun have similiarity..i think is me loh..i love all frenz..no matter who they are..which group..we are still frenz.. but i really think is my problem loh.. mayb this really hunts me long time ago during my NS makes me like this being like distance..towards frenz i have not keep in contact..

well..wat happen in NS really impact me alot especially wif the term "friendship"..i didnt share this to nebody. i befrended a girl who also from KL..we both were going fine..real fine.. n one day i accidentally UNCONSIOUSLY said sumthing which sumhow she got offended..i said im REALLY sorry..explaining to her..n the next thing she ignore me completely.. she didnt forgive me[she's a christian] soo..okayy..i jz gave her space..n we got distance.. n so one day i confronted her..n she told me she forgave me n she ask me shut my mouth n dun tok... well dat really hit me.. i was kinda shock..n i jz walk away..feeling hurt, rejected.. the reason i tell nebody about this..is bcoz i cant bring myself to say..bcoz.. i feel very pressured especially at church...i dunno~~~i really DUNNO!!!

i feel more comfertable wif my family..but recently im really upset wif one of brother.. since hardly nobody see my blog..so i jz telling it out..bcoz is killing me inside..im jz feeling down about this recently..really upset about my brother.. i finally managed to tell my close coll fren, jamie..it kinda free me abit, although she jz smile n nvr say nething, i feel a lil bit better:)...

im saying dat..when my bro didnt come back from sumwhere, his frenz will come to me n ask where is he? dats the FIRST thing ask me.. i said he is still at dat place.. n they jz walk off.. or when he is not at certain place n im there fer practice..his fren come to me n ask him again..seldom they ask about me..which im grateful fer dat..the reason i feel pressure..is i feel ppl noe me as im his sister..i mean dats wert i feel lah..im not blaming them..afterall they all are close.. is fine loh.. i dun mind.. as long i help them, remember their bday, or nething..im fine bcoz im their frenz too.. i dun care if they dun remember my bday..i dun care.. but my bro bday jz recently last week over..b4 his bday even come they even tok about it oledi..this really make me sad loh.. they remember him n i sumhow feel push away from them..i jz brush it off..do noe sumthing..non of his fren didnt wish me but onli one person which im really grateful about it..am i not their fren too? at times i really wan to cry but i jz hold up.but today i jz cry loh..let it out..

the other thing about my bro is.. he hardly spent time wif us FAMILY!!!..friday he come back, nite he oledi go out fer mamak..nvm..since friday my house got CG..saturday..morning till afternoon..he go out again..till late nite..morning..onli me, mum[sumtimes at home], dad goes to work..he is a great christian..n i really admire him dat he go to prayer meets, n TU without fail..but after dat..he will go out n eat dinner wif them..n onli me, mum n dad will be having dinner together..sunday, we all go to church, n lunch..he follow his frens again fer lunch..n me follow my parents..do u see it?..he didnt spent time wif us family.. n dat really make me really piss off, angry wif him.. i see my fren relationship between their siblings..im REALLY JEALOUS!!yes i admit im jealous...y cant he be the same like them..or do the same thing as them..[do u noe sumthing, i nvr had a face to face tok to him, if got oso..last like how long??]im really happy when he gave me presents n i keep them very carefully..the most precious thing he gave me was this necklace he get from me from china..n WITHOUT fail i wear it all the time..no matter where i go..n when ppl ask me where did i get this nice necklace..i will proudly say is from him..n i like to see my frenz smiling at me, saying ur bro is so nice.. im jz so really sad dat i cant stop crying now..well wat can i do..? is him..afterall..i cant force him..i feel like i dunno who is he oledi..he hardly at home..well wat to do he is studying mah..but when he is at home..he is REALLY hardly at home..which my mum jokingly said..this house is like a hotel to him..

im really happy when he have holiday or sem break where he stay at home all the time..i really like it..i jz..dunno..i feel..upside down..well..mayb dats the reason i dun really tok to him..onli when i ask him things..i wonder he remember dat we all family going out fer dinner together to celebrate his belated birthday..n i feel bad dat i didnt wish happy birthday to him face to face..i really felt bad..i jz onli msg him..[bad zhizheng huh?]bcoz i was really upset about this!!being around wif his frenz now..i..feel..different..

n being feeling distance wif my frenz..mayb im jz a LONER..past still hunts me..shut my mouth..wat i scared the most? REJECTION...i cant take rejection..i'll breakdown..n me..i think im not really socialize nemore.. i think i prefer to be alone..but sumtimes i cant stand it..i walk away..dats wat i do after TU..or nething..i jz cant bring myself...im more to homely type..well..my bro use to..but now..i dunno~~ppl see me normally..but actually inside..is different..

im not blaming my frenz..but im blaming myself......................................i am GRATEFUL to have frenz..im not complaining...telling wat i feel..n i feel better abit....but i sumhow feeling bad n guilty too..

signing out...

6. all about langkawi part 2

at last..i got a full nice connection again to update my blog..i cant enter in bcoz of the internet in langkawi is sooooooooooooo slow...especially the place i stay..haihz.. i have to go all the way to starbucks to use the WiFi..=.= newayz..

continueing my observation during my stay at langkawi..

well..since langkawi is a tourist site, u see lots of ang moh men mah.. well indeed i seen many young cute hot men!!!...few at the beaches..super duper hot n cute lehhhhhhhhhhh...i saw one in pasar mlm!! really handsome leh!!haihz..once im back in kl...i nvr get to see them nemore...well at least i have them in my mind oledi..sudah snap pic wif my eyes adi n process it in my brain^^ hohoho~~

n oh! oh!..i see lots of GAY MEN around l'kawi..yuck!! i saw one in pasar mlm last wed n they were holding hands in public[esh!tak malu] n so..of coz i dish out my HP but it was to late..they stop at one stall..n were choosing belts together..haihz..i stoood there n waited for them to move n hold hands..i waited n waited..i got tired i walk away..haihz..

guys in l'kawi nvr seen girls wearing sleeveless b4..they see n go around doing the kiss kiss sound n start saying.."ah moi"[=.=]jz last week, me n my fren to the beach jz to relax ani..so we went abit futher then the normal we usually atop at..n there's a bunch of idoitic guys trying to call us..but of coz we dun care lah..we simply ignore n jln terus..so at last we stop at sum shady place..n drank our vodka^^..few minutes l8r..they actually walk one round n pass us, saying "eh..kita boring lah..ah moi boleh join tak?" wah liow..sudah my mood so good..go n spoil it..we summore ignore them..at last they walk away..few minutes later, one of the guys came n tok to us, asking can they join n they are bored..BORED my butt!! they are playing football lah! go n play wif ur frenz n stop bothering us!..n so we jz didnt say nething..i n my fren jz walk away from there n went to waterfall..nice^^n cont to drink our vodka..lalalalala~.. he was toking to us in malay n i wanted to say to him "oh sorry..wat are u toking about? im not malaysian, im japanese" my fren wanted to say in mandarin" dui bu chi, im from china, im not malaysian" wth..i wanted to say dat..wanna see his face expression..:P hehee!!

newayz..dats all for now lah..but dats all im gonna say about l'kawi so far..stayed there almost like 2 months adi..haihz..getting use wif life there adi..but oh well..too bad..coz..

IM BACK IN KL ADI!!!! yeap! im back in KU-A-LA LUM-PUR!!!^^ since yesterday evening..lol!!! so happy to be back~~dats all fer now~~

ja-ne~~~

5. all about langkawi -part1-

i notice sumthing while i driving around langkawi for the pass 3 weeks..make dat 4[soon to be]

i really hate how the citizens drive there..is super annoying..here are few example:

1. they super last minute signal n i have to break instantly

2. they drive VERY slow..as though their grandfather own the road...=.=

3. turn in super slow..slower than a tortoise...we biasa turn in we go 2nd gear..but they turn in 1st gear..dat makes me have to stop for the traffic light for the 2nd time..

4. they have "no" law on roads..seriously...really!!

5. on the road..the lane dah lah one ani..the motor take like the car space..they dun have a lane for motor like KL.. so when i see one motor taking one space of a car..i simply cut them..

basically when i drive i have been complaining alot about this till i forget wat i wan to type adi..ade byk..but i cant remember...but this is the main points..

i dunno izit me dat i like to drive fast, or im so use to KL road where i sumtimes speed.. or the langkawi citizens jz being liddat...

well..dats more on langkawi..which i noticed loh.. all the time i come here to holiday ani..now..is different..

preview: langkawi men/guys.. are super kolot/old fashion
ang moh^^

ja-ne~~

4. bored bored bored bored....

YEAY!!!! i manage to get into my blog adi!!! after for 3 weeks..of trying to enter into this blog..yeay!!..

hmmmmmmmmm...well..im still in langkawi..having my weekend holiday... nth much..bored..everyday have been bored...cant do much but jz going to beaches n waterfalls...haihz..

im now in my 3rd week of posting..n i have 7 weeks of posting to go..i seriously cant wait to go back to KL...going to langkawi for few days or weeks..is nice lah..but staying here for 2months, is way to much..dah lah langkawi small..i went the whole place in like 2 days adi..haihzzzzzzzzzzzz........

here..the food cut throat..yea..i noe is duty free..but..KFC n MCD very expensive..KL cheaper..haihz..one X-Meal is oledi 10 bucks adi!! go mamak makan, 5 bucks jz fly away mcm itu..haihz...expensive expensive..

when come back from here..the duty free island i put up pics:)

ja-ne~~

3. neurology....~~

God's Promise~The Rainbow~

saw dat rainbow when i was my way back from coll...lovely..sorry for the very bad quality pic..but im using a phone cam..

i jz recently realize sumting..i love neurologY!!! is fun~~~~~
neuro, neuro, neuro...^^

btw..this 2 months..i will not be free to update my blog coz im going to langkawi for posting!! hohoho!!

ja-ne~~!

2. sugoi ne~!

recently.... i jz DL-ed a japanese show..alah u noe me lah.. jpn these n dat..=.= typical me~~ i jz dl this jap show call hana-kimi.. well from an manga i read n a taiwanese show i watch last yr..=.=

well thx to my mum, she was watching sum jap show too..which i have no interest..i sum how was looking through the list of show they have in the website.. is in www.mysoju.com [p.s: anyone who is a korean drama freak, i reckon u to go to this webby..=.=]

so newyz..so i click unto hana-kimi, since i know wats all about, i nvr ever seen live action of the manga i like so much..so yea i watch one part of it ani..jz to see how izit..
n then!!! i show the actor i most most most most "adore" him!!!!!! he is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot!!! previously saw him in Prince of Tennis Live Action[my fav manga n anime^^] and his name Yuu Shirota!! omg~~~

TADAAA!! dats him in Prince of Tennis!! *sigh~~* btw i did not go to this website called asianhunk.net =.= i went to search yahoo images.. thank you very much..

n this is him in hana-kimi!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! he is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo HOT!!!..

so well since i was "gaga" over him..well.. i tot i would go for sum "research"...i went to wikipedia[love dat webby, can search lots of things, my anime source] n sumhow i saw dat he has a blog~~!!! YIPEE!!! well..okayyyyyy..i click on it..n then i saw his other pic.. *sweet!!*
n i scroll down.. OH-LA-LA!!..

he is like a TYPICAL LA-LA CHAI dat u can see KL!! more specific, SG. WANG!! he goes around n tae pic of himself which reminds me of sum la-la chai trying to do sum kawaii look..well..he does look cute in sum pic though..but but..is sooooooooo ewwww~~ so the la-la~~

n i hate la-la ppl~~ sea ppl...brrrrrrr..im cold~~i expected like sum cool, silent, hot, handsome guy.. sebaliknya..i see la-la pic!! even now i wan to mussel, and la-la..=.=

but i love him in hana-kimi though..but i dun really like him POT..he doest smile..yuck~! tra-la-la~~...la-la again..=.=

dats all~~ till then i post sumthing^^

ja-ne~~